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  • Writer's pictureDawn Ford

Replacing bad memories with good ones

Updated: Jan 16, 2020

June 2017

One of the steps of the Grief Recovery Method is to compile a Relationship Graph on a relationship that is causing you pain or anger, where you feel stuck, or where you feel there is unfinished emotional communication. Where the relationship has been a positive and loving one I ask the client to write at least 2 negative memories below the centre line (to avoid enshrinement) and when the relationship has not been a loving one at least 2 positive memories below the centreline (to avoid bedevilment).

This week I was so pleased to hear a client read out some positive memories as he wasn't sure he'd find any. And they were wonderful. When he finished reading the graph out loud, he voiced concerns over the intensity of the negative memories and I told him to try and replace the bad with the good, replace the negative with the positive. I believe that over time we can retrain our brain so our memory accesses the good over the bad. I am not saying it's easy but I do think it is possible.

I later found these articles..

Selective Memory: Replacing Negative Memories with Positive Ones

" The stuff you choose not to remember can be pushed back further and further each time you recall a different memory."

Psychologists Offer Proof of Brain's Ability to Suppress Memories

"the greatest interest is in terms of practical applications regarding emotionally disturbing and traumatic experiences."

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