Grief & Creatvity

https://www.griefspecialists.org/post/when-words-aren-t-enough-how-creativity-carries-our-deepest-emotions

'Marks We Leave' - His Hat

As an artist I love to explore fragility, tenderness, loss and memory.

So I felt immensely privileged when I delivered Art & Emotion workshops in several primary schools - I absolutely loved each and every one. It was the perfect opportunity for me to teach how ‘mark-making’ (drawing, painting, collage, & stitch) and fabrics could encapsulate a feeling, and a personality.

Each time I was astounded by the outcomes. As an ideas-led artist it wasn’t necessarily the technical ability that blew me away (though impressive) but rather the emotional connection and the working through of feelings that these children willingly explored and shared.

My first workshop was back in 2000 where the school children were invited to choose fabrics that for them ‘communicated’ a specific emotion or ‘captured’ a personality of someone dear to them. I recall a little boy choosing ‘grandad buttons’ and another ‘that’s a very happy Mummy colour.’

In another workshop I was invited to support a class of Year 6 pupils after the death of their much-loved school teacher. Numbers were high and a lot of the support/lessons were group taught. I noticed that those sparks of emotional depth often came through on the one to one’s that took place; where gentle questioning and ‘a safe space’ enabled the children to think in a very different, maybe more meaningful way.

I have always remembered one specific young girl who was incredibly quiet. She chose the most translucent, gossamer like fabrics. I knew she ‘got it.’ After she left the classroom, I asked her teacher about her ‘story’. her concentration and commitment to the workshop highlighted a depth that not every child understandably had.

Her story was heartbreaking; this dear little girl’s mum had died. The pale gossamer pieces of fabric - represented angels and heaven. Apparently after this workshop she grew in confidence and there were positive ripples throughout other school subjects too. Creativity can do this.

I also believe in the emotive power of cloth and the memories it can hold; since 2006 I have created many keepsake commissions out of cherished clothes. Creativity comes in many shapes and sizes, formats and guises; what is vitally important is that we can choose a way to explore, express, reveal, share, or work through our biggest, deepest emotions.

Back in March this year I entered four pieces for an Art Exhibition; titled ‘Marks We Leave.’ Instantly I knew I wanted to explore my grief, my relationship with my dad. I must have taken in excess of 60 photographs, which had to be narrowed down to just four. That was the hardest bit.

My favourite photo is still ‘His Hat.’ The one of his old woollen beanie hat, which was quietly resting on the dining room table, sun rays peeping through the curtains. I see his hat, I see my dad. That’s how powerful an association can be with an item - especially one worn or used.

Since my dear Dad died last year, I have also found myself drawing, if I can, every day. It’s become my ‘time out,’ my therapy if you like.

I used to read (every day if it was possible) but since September I haven’t been able to. And that’s OK. I know it will return when I'm ready. What I have been doing however is drawing in the book I was reading the week before he got admitted to hospital. And sometimes I ‘talk to him’ through my drawings and I write my thoughts.

When it comes to grief, do it your way. For me it’s with creativity.

The Arts are vital to our world and being creative provides us with an opportunity to explore what fascinates us and to realise those ideas and emotions; allowing them to be nurtured and shine through.