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  • Writer's pictureDawn Ford

Unresolved Emotional Baggage and Fred Sirieix the Charismatic Host from Channel 4's 'First Dates

"Master letting go of emotional baggage so you can love someone fully"

Such wise words from Sirieix and a belief shared by myself and the Grief Recovery Method. Unresolved grief does get in the way of truly loving again. In the past, we all may have been tempted to put up 'emotional walls' to protect ourselves from heartache, but in reality this just means that we don't allow ourselves to fall, to love, to engage 100% with another human being. And that is so unbelievably sad.

When we experience heartbreak from a less than healthy relationship and we DON'T look deep inside then what's to stop us falling for the same 'type' of person again, or of making the same mistakes again? When a client comes to see me and their relationship was particularly strained or toxic I encourage them to reflect upon specific events, how they felt about the event and after a short amount of time they see a pattern of behaviour and feelings emerge. This work is fundamental to the empowered outcome. This emotional work and the necessity to forgive and apologise is the fundamental core of this incredible empowering life-changing educational wellbeing programme.

The Grief Recovery Method's definition of forgiveness is 'to cease to feel the pain that has been caused by an offender. ' In other words it's a gift for you, a gift for me, a gift for us. Please do not confuse it with the word 'condone' - this is to trivialise an event, or an experience, or an act and that is NOT the same thing as Forgiveness.

One of the most empowering outcomes for me, after completing the programme was feeling so much lighter, my energy changed. I found that past hurts created by another had been 'dealt with', talked about, revisited, shared and reflected upon and I felt like the 'slate had been wiped clean'. It was such a wonderful feeling. I felt the negative emotions concerned with that relationship fall away and I was ready to fill that 'space' with love. How did this feeling arise? Through looking closely at the relationship that had caused me pain. How did I achieve this? By forgiving the emotionally painful things that had been said to me or done to me. By apologizing to the person where I felt I wanted to say sorry - for the things I had said or done, or hadn't said or done.

And finally -

This may sound like common sense - and when you come through the other end it really seems that way - But how often does anyone ever say to you ; You need to take a good long look back, reflect, forgive and apologise? They don't instead most of us, after a relationship ends hear the words.........."He wasn't good enough for you anyway." "Go out and party." "You're much better off without him/her." " He's not worth crying over." "There's plenty more fish in the sea." etc. etc. None of which are emotionally beneficial to you, or to anyone . None of which enable you to let go of unresolved emotional baggage. The Grief Recovery Method can help you come through the heartbreak. The Grief Recovery Method promotes forgiveness so that you can fall in love again. And love again 100%.

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